Does it Matter in the End?

Last night I laid in bed thinking of my friend who passed last year. It’s coming up on the 1-year anniversary of his death, and I can’t help but think; “I still can’t believe he’s gone!” And then, as the thoughts are running rampant through my head and death begins to overcome me, as I cringe at the thought of passing away and how it’s so final, I started to wonder if I’ve done everything I’ve set out to do?

If I were to die today, did I live a good life?

I know a lot of people live by the mantra Live Each Moment as its Your Last. They check everything off their bucket lists, they achieve all of their goals. I want to be like that- a better person who is bettering herself so she can assure her life was fulfilling. Then it dawned on me…..would that honestly be enough? I feel like you’d achieve one thing and you’d still be looking to do more. It’s never enough. How high can you actually go? How much can you actually sustain to ensure that you’ve actually LIVED life to the fullest?

I guess it differs by person. But I sat there and thought, even if I did everything I wanted to do, once that’s done I would be looking for more. So is there really a point?

There is.

The point is that you can only be the best you. If you’re happy with your life and the challenges you’ve overcome or you’ve reached the goals you’ve set for yourself then you’ve done all that you’ve set out to do. Who is to tell you that your good enough is not good enough? So, when I go, when I take my last breath, my last thought will be, you did good kid. And I’ll know that I have no regrets and I’ve done my absolute best. It may not be anyone else’s idea of the absolute best, but if it can rest easy in my heart, nothing or no one else really matters.

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. Valerie says:

    I’m sorry for your loss. :( No, completing our bucket lists isn’t going to be enough, but it sure makes the days we have enjoyable!!

    Like

    1. TJ says:

      That is very true! Just an inner battle with myself of if all of that “stuff” means we’ve lived a full life!

      Liked by 1 person

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