Ever wonder what your core needs are when involved in a relationship? What truly works to keep you happy with your significant other? I would have never thought of taking this test, until it was pointed out by a friend that I should try it, so I can see what I crave or what my needs are in a romantic relationship.
The test is called The 5 Love Languages. The purpose is to thoroughly analyze your emotional communication preference. The 5 love languages are: Touch, Quality Time, Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation and Receiving Gifts. In this test, you are asked a series of statements that determine how you really understand the expression of love from others. The statements were a bit repetitive, but each one had a different twist, perhaps to curve the mind in grasping a better understanding of the meaning behind the question. Once the test is complete, it will score the 5 languages from highest to lowest. The highest score indicates your primary love language – how you really understand the expressions of love from others. The lower scores indicate those languages you seldom use to communicate love and which probably don’t affect you on an emotional level in your relationships.
Here are my scores and the order in which I feel loved most:
9 👉🏽Quality Time
8 👉🏽Physical Touch
7 👉🏽Words of Affirmation
4 👉🏽Acts of Service
2 👉🏽Receiving Gifts
In Quality Time, nothing says “I love you” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes you feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed activities, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Whether itʼs spending uninterrupted time talking with someone else or doing activities together, you deepen your connection with others through sharing time.
A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, and thoughtful touches on the arm—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive. Appropriate and timely touches communicate warmth, safety, and love to you.
Words of Affirmation
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important— hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. You thrive on hearing kind and encouraging words that build you up.
Acts of Service
Can helping with homework really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most wants to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter. When others serve you out of love (and not obligation), you feel truly valued and loved.
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures. Gifts are heartfelt symbols to you of someone else’s love and affection for you.
If you want to test your Love Languages, follow this link (5lovelanguages.com) and take a shot at it. You’ll be interested to see what your results are!