If you listened to the latest podcast on TakeTew, then you already know what this post is going to be about. In that episode, I discussed how I’ve tried to sabotage relationships in the past, and I was trying not to let that happen this time around. Why do I do this?! I wish I had the answer. But, for those of you sitting around confused, not really sure what I’m talking about, let me break it down.
In relationships past, I would be really happy with someone, but look for every reason to be annoyed with said person so I could either complain or end things. Bad kisser? You’re outta here! Stinky feet? Outta here! Chew your food too loudly? OUTTA HERE! It was really pathetic. It was like I would sit there and stare at the person, looking for any and every reason to sabotage what we had. I guess I was too afraid to commit or I was looking for any small sign to call it quits. Whatever my excuse, it was lame and I should be ashamed of myself. In high school, I once broke up with a guy because I HEARD he had a “small package”. Not because I saw it with my own eyes, but because some jealous girl decided to put that bug in my ear to make me think differently of him. How shallow I must have been! Which is crazy because I, myself, had the lowest self-esteem! How ironic!
However, I have grown up tremendously since then and I would never treat anyone like that. Especially considering the fact that I would never want to be treated like that. Nowadays, I use this as a helpful tool, instead of a means to destroy my own happiness. I still stare and think to myself, “why do you do that?” But instead of being turned off by whatever the “flaw” is, I ask myself, “is this something you could look past?” and 9 times out of 10 it is. I have to remember that there are things about me that are unbecoming and not so glamorous. I certainly wouldn’t want someone to kick me to the curb because of my “uniqueness”. In my current relationship, I look at these “flaws” as a way to confirm, “yup! This is what I want! I wouldn’t be anywhere else!” I had to use my sabotage method to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. He is perfect! There isn’t a thing or quirkiness about him that I could use as a means to sabotage our relationship. And thank God! I’ve found my keeper and I don’t want to lose him….by any means!
But, what have you done to sabotage a relationship? I know I’m not the only one. Please, share your stories!